Mary Sewage
by naonaonao
Summary: Ash and co. stumble upon a typical Mary Sue. Brock falls in love, Ash battles and falls in love, and Misty despises at first sight. Slight AAML. Parody.


**Didn't know I was a pokémon fan, did you? **

**XD Anyway.**

**This is just because I've taken a temporary interest in pokémon (only the first three seasons, mind you) and I love, love, LOVE to make fun of Mary Sues. Er. AAML forever.**

-x-

Ah, the midst of spring—a gorgeous time of year in the region of Kanto. The leaves were a blinding vibrant green, flowers brightly colored and bursting with beauty and pollen, and the sun; obnoxiously shedding its unbearable heat upon those walking on this Earth.

"Ash, I can't believe you got us lost _again_!" An orange-haired adolescent girl fumed, hitting a short brown-eyed boy with a rather large map.

"We're not lost!" Ash defended, rubbing his head where he'd been wacked. "This is just a _detour_."

"_DETOUR!_"Misty roared. "Ash Ketchum, I swear, if you do not get us out of this forest—"

"Hey, calm down, you two!" Brock coaxed, a sweatdrop-esque expression plastered on his face—er, as expressive as he gets, considering that his eyes are like tiny, glued-together slits. Honestly, how can he see? He has no EYES. I'm sure this matter has been addressed before, but really, when the artist is too lazy draw proper eyes on one of the characters, that's where I draw the line. I have half a mind to—

Wow, we really got sidetracked there.

"Excuse me! I believe I could be of some assistance!" A musical, alluring, and altogether cute voice chimed in from behind the trees. Out stepped a girl with long dark hair, long legs, and sparkling violet eyes, surrounded by dark eyelashes. Her skin was flawless and glowed even in the shaded forest, and her attire consisted of a short black skirt and sleeveless pink top with a purple butterfly in the corner. It was a size too small and made in Pakistan. This information is obviously vital for the story—really, it's important to know what everyone's wearing!

"There you are!" Brock exclaimed, scampering over to the girl. "I've been looking all over for you, Woman of My Dreams."

Insert sweatdrop here. Seriously, that has to be the worst pick up line. Ever.

Ash looked confused. Misty just shook her head. 

The girl giggled. "It's nice to meet you; I'm Charisma Gardenia Celeste Shadowheart Amore Dolce Maria Susan Whistleflute. You can call me Mary Sue for short." She pulled a map out of her back pocket—a very detailed one of the entire region. "Here, look. This is where we are." She pointed to a small cluster of trees. "All you have to do it take this road here and make a left, then keep going until you see the Pokémon Center."

"How do you know that?" Misty asked. "There aren't any roads on the map."

"I've been around Kanto a few times," Charisma Gardenia Celeste Shadowheart Amore Dolce Maria Susan Whistleflute answered. "I know the area pretty well." 

Before anyone could continue, a soft chirp-like noise erupted from Charisma Gardenia Celeste Shadowheart Amore Dolce Maria Susan Whistleflute's backpack. And because I'm tired of typing Charisma Gardenia Celeste Shadowheart Amore Dolce Maria Susan Whistleflute like five million times, we're calling her Mary Sue. Or Charisma. Because that sounds more Mary Sue-esque. Anyway.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Charisma apologized, gracefully removing her backpack and letting a small pokémon crawl out. It was a yellow, sandy color and had a sort of armor on it's back that looked like gold. It had three ears and spiked on the armor, short legs, large, adorable eyes, and a thin, wispy tail. "This is my Kisanda."

"A…Kisanda?" Ash asked, baffled. He whipped out his oh-so-trusty PokéDex to identify it. 

"_Pokémon not found."_ It read, and Ash looked at Charisma suspiciously. 

"It's a special pokémon," Charisma explained. "I found it alone and abandoned in a laboratory, and I couldn't just leave it there. Because nobody was able to identify it, they left it in my care. It was rather weak when I stumbled upon it, but I was able to polish it's coat and train it to become strong." She scratched the Kisanda's ears and smiled at the trio. Plus Pikachu, who was currently examining the newfound pokémon.

"Whoa, no way!" Ash, excited, grinned. This girl must be strong if she could capture such a pokémon, and even more impressive was the fact that she was able to train it. "Then I challenge you!"

"Alright, then because my Kisanda is already out, I suppose I'll choose her." Charisma decided.

"Fair enough! Pikachu, I choose you!"

And the battle was on.

"Kisanda, use goldenrod attack!" Charisma ordered. A shining beam erupted from Kisanda's armor, immediately blinding Pikachu. "Good! Now, Kisanda, lasershock!" 

"Lasershock?" Misty questioned from the sidelines. Brock shrugged in response.

A gold-colored laser shot out from Kisanda's mouth. When it hit Pikachu, an impressive electrocution occurred. 

"Pi…ka…"Pikachu moaned, now singed and lying on the ground. 

"Pikachu is unable to battle!" Brock, sounding obvious, announced. "Kisanda is the winner!"

"Pikachu!" Ash cried, immediately running to his pokémon.

"I suppose we should end it here… Kisanda isn't even my strongest pokémon…" Charisma said, fingering a small pokéball in her hand. Peering inside, Brock noticed that there were much more than six pokéballs in her possession—none of them empty. However, he chose to say nothing of the matter. Because he was… lost in her eyes, or something.

Upon realizing Charisma's great strength as a trainer, Ash was able to notice her great beauty. The way her intense periwinkle eyes shined. The way her hair bounced. The smooth texture of her skin, soft pink color on her lips…

"_I don't like Charisma."_ Misty decided. In her mind.

"Well, I suppose I should be off, now that you have the directions and all." Charisma said, tossing her hair to the side.

"She smells good…" Ash mumbled dazedly. Misty slapped him upside the head.

"Get a hold of yourself, Ketchum." She huffed. But Ash didn't notice how upset she was. Because Charisma was 'sooooo beautiful'… 

"Hey, I have an idea!" Ash proclaimed. "Charisma Gardenia Celeste Shadowheart Amore Dolce Maria Susan Whistleflute can travel with us!"

"…what a beautiful name… Er.. yeah, that's a great idea, Ash!" Brock agreed. 

"Pika!" Pikachu chided. 

"Oh, I don't want to be a burden." Charisma refused, her gaze averted toward the ground. "But if you insist…"

"No." Misty rejected. "We hardly have enough food as it is, and it's enough work to keep these two alone out of trouble. We won't be needing your company."

"Oh, but I can help!" Charisma argued. "I'm a trained doctor, you see, and I've already become a Pokémon Master, so I know the ups and downs of Kanto, The Sevil Islands, Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, and the Orange Islands—I can help you out! Not only that, but I'm great at debating if you ever need something for free, and I'm a good entertainer; I sing, play sixteen instruments, and have danced in numerous videos, plus twenty-six ballet recitals. Not only that, but I know a lot of people, and—"

"No. No, it's fine. We don't need you." Misty denied. The more she heard of this Charisma Gardenia Celeste Shadowheart Amore Dolce Maria Susan Whistleflute, the less she liked her. She was too…perfect. Not a good thing to have around at all.

"But… but WHY!" Charisma asked, anger in her voice.

"Because. We don't want you." Misty explained.

"Yes we do!" Ash and Brock corrected.

"Shut up! I'm trying to prove a point!" Misty yelled.

"You're right, Miss T." Charisma said, before any epic arguments could pursue. Not to mention that she spelled Misty's name wrong in her speech. Yes—it CAN be done. "Four people and a Pikachu is enough… I think… I should replace you."

"That's right! So you should just get on your way and—WHAT?" 

"You heard me." Charisma said. "You obviously cause a lot of stress for these two. And your hair is too red."

The more Misty was insulted, the more out-of-love Ash fell with Charisma. Misty was his friend! What right did this girl have to want to replace her? Then again, she was beautiful, talented, funny, sweet, smart, accomplished, beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, dazzling, attractive, alluring, amazing… then again! Misty was, well, _Misty_. She kept him in line, argued with him when he got bored, had all of those water pokémon… But Christmas Celery Shadow Mary-something-about-music was so PRETTY. And—

"Fine, then! I'll leave! You losers are, lyke crumpin mah stile" Charisma said, her English becoming less and less advanced. Obviously, something had happened while Ash was spacing out. Er…what _did_ happen, again?

Oh. Of course. Thunderbolt, what else?

"Hmph! Good riddance!" Misty said once Charisma was out of sight. 

"MARY SUE! WAIT! COME BACK!" Brock began to chase after the girl, but was pulled away (by the ear, of course) by Misty.

"Wait…." Ash said, stopping all activity in the area. "What happened?"

"Pikapi… Pi-pi Pikachu, pi pi pi. Ka-a!" Pikachu explained. Nobody else understood. Except Ash. Because he's like, part Pikachu or something.

Er…I should stop while I'm ahead.

X

**XD You don't have to say it; I such at endings.**

**Now! I'm going to be a unique-esque person and put the disclaimer at the end.**

**I.E. I do not own Pokémon at ALL. If I did, there would be more AAML. Even though that is sort of hypocritical, because this fanfic was like barely AAML at all. But I'm new at this. So ha. **

**I also do not own Kisanda. It was a fake pokémon that some dude made and then admitted to creating it. They made a pretty cool card, though. It was made in like, August 2006. My reason for using it? You can't have a Mary Sue without a Mary Sue Pokémon, can you? No! **

**See more fake Pokémon at serebii dot net slash fakes. If I put the actual link in here, it would be censored out. xD**

**So I'm working on more Pokémon fanfics. Look for them. OH! And review!**


End file.
